Self-compassion is defined as being kind, warm, and understanding to ourselves during times of pain or failure and can lead to a greater sense of well- being. When we're self-compassionate, we tend to be happier, more hopeful, and less critical of ourselves. On the flip side, being hard on ourselves and feeling isolated can lead to sadness, anxiety, and dwelling on negative thoughts. The three components of self-compassion include:

Self-Kindness Versus Self-Judgment

To engage in self-kindness we must be warm and understanding towards ourselves when we feel inadequate, fail or suffer, and avoid engaging in self-criticism and self-judgment. Although we are often compassionate towards others, we often are much harder on ourselves and engage in negative self-talk. Self-kindness involves taking a supportive attitude and acknowledgment of our shortcomings which aids in reducing feelings of unworthiness and shame. However, with self-compassion, we are not trying to end self-criticism but instead provide space for the emotions that arise when life is challenging. One helpful phrase when you notice negative self-talk arise may be “It makes sense I am feeling _____”

Common Humanity Versus Isolation

Common humanity requires recognizing the shared experience of pain and personal inadequacy and identifying that being a human includes imperfection, which should not be experienced alone. When we make mistakes or fail, many of us believe we are the only ones to experience that failure which leads to disconnection and loneliness in suffering. With self- compassion, we recognize that difficulties are a part of being human and are a shared experience. When we are connected with our humanity, we feel less isolated and alone, and share experiences of imperfection. One way to integrate this is to share how you are feeling with friends or join a process group at the HSC!

Mindfulness Versus Over-Identification

Lastly, self-compassion includes mindfulness, which is a non-judgmental approach to our thoughts and feelings which includes a willingness to observe our negative thoughts and emotions without attempting to deny or suppress them. The contrast of mindfulness is overidentification, in which we get stuck in the negativity. One way to cultivate a mindful awareness is by utilizing some mindfulness exercises. (https://self-compassion.org/category/exercises/)

For more information on self-compassion, I highly recommend checking out, Kristin Neff’s work on self-compassion! https://self-compassion.org/