Most of us have not experienced the rush of change on a daily basis that we are experiencing now. In our environment today, we are taking in new information, making new plans, and suddenly dealing with issues of great magnitude that we often try to put out of our minds. Not only that, many of us are trying to integrate all this while we are suddenly living in a more isolated fashion than we’ve ever experienced before. This is a lot to take in!
Even though we intellectually know that the only constant in life is change, the reality of change can feel overwhelming, leaving us at times feeling shell-shocked, anxious, frazzled, and even just downright sad.
Of course! We are wired to want to know what we need to do to survive and that means our brains are searching for things that will keep us safe – structure, reassurance, certainty. (Some of us have brains that do this more than others, and we need all types!)
The question is how can we integrate these rapid changes into our human psyche and how can we do this while we are living more in isolation. Below are some ideas:
Acknowledge that the reality we are in IS the reality that we are in. What we resist persists. The more we say to the various changes, “It shouldn’t be this way,” the more we are inclined to feel tension, tightness, anger, and frustration. Although we may not like these circumstances, given all the thousands of factors over decade and decades of time that went into making this moment, things could not be any other than they are. This is a hard concept. Sit with it for a bit and see what arises for you. Once we can truly acknowledge the reality we are in, we can begin to make needed changes. We are seeing that truth unfolding before our eyes. Practice saying, “Yes, yes, yes” instead of “No, no, no.” You may feel sadness arise. That's because you are a human who feels. It’s ok. I haven’t met a human yet who wasn’t human.
Recognize the amazing qualities within you that are already at work adapting: It’s amazing to witness this human body and mind at work during this time. A few weeks ago, many of us were in shock due to the sudden onslaught of change. You might notice for yourself the ways in which you are adapting already. How amazing is that? Give yourself a shout out. These skills will come in handy in the future – because life is nothing but change.
Watch the tendency to want to “use this time wisely:” It’s ok to rest. It’s ok to sit in quiet. This is an unprecedented amount of information and change that your whole body/mind system is integrating, and it is grief. Even if you aren’t feeling it, your body is. You would not expect someone who just lost a family member to use this time to learn Spanish, develop a “side hustle,” or become a virtual celebrity. You might even find that in the quiet you will discover something beautiful.
Titrate into quiet, stillness, and being with yourself: We are very busy people. We rarely give enough time to sit quietly and listen to the birds, witness the flowers, feel the stirrings in our hearts. However, it is important to move into stillness gently. Although this moment in time does give us the opportunity to slow down and reflect on what brings meaning and purpose to our lives, being in stillness can also be a bit overwhelming, particularly if you it is new for you. We invite you to step in slowly. Some ideas:
- Take 5 minutes to simply feel the sun on your face.
- When you wash your hands, notice the sensation of water.
- Eat without distraction and notice the taste of the food.
- Every time your phone lights up, take 1 deep breath before responding.
- Pause to hear the birds for 1 minute.
- Name what you are feeling. “I am feeling overwhelmed.” “My emotions are up and down.” “I have no idea what to do in this moment.” Breathe into it. It won’t hurt you. It will free you.
Remember that your path is your path: Though we are all human, we are wired differently. Some of us are wired to be risk-takers and some are more inclined to protect. We need all types. The risk-takers can go out into the unknown and bring back great treasures. The protectors help ensure that we can keep what we have and continue to go forward. If you are noticing that your path is different than those around you, that’s ok. You might practice a mantra, “Each of us is on our own journey. May I remember that my journey is valuable and unfolding just as it should.”