Psychological distress can impact our overall functioning and daily activities. Our views of our environment, others, and ourselves may become more negative than usual and challenging these views may be more difficult. We may experience unpleasant feelings or emotions such as sadness, anxiety, or become easily distracted. Some other symptoms that can occur are weight gain, increased anger, decrease in pleasure in sexual activities, and obsessive thoughts. However, with support, empathy, and self-compassion the symptoms can be addressed.
Causes of psychological distress can vary person to person, partnership to partnership. Some causes include the loss of a job, receiving harsh negative feedback, death of someone close or moving. Sometimes life transitions that may represent something positive can cause psychological distress such as having a child, getting married, starting a new job, or buying a house. Sometimes it can be difficult to acknowledge the stress we experience from positive events happening in our lives because we might be saying to ourselves “I should be happy.”
When experiencing an increase in psychological distress, our subjective experience may differ from our partner(s). When this happens, it may be helpful to practice the following to support yourself, your partner(s), and your partnership as a whole.
Communication: Take a moment to reflect if there are any changes in yourself due to increased stress or changes in partner(s) stress levels. When communicating to your partner(s) that you are experiencing higher levels of psychological stress and you are noticing changes in your actions, feelings, and thoughts, here are some tips for conveying them to your partner(s). Practice using “I” statements. Start by expressing what you are noticing and how you feel. For example, “I noticed that I have been on edge more lately and I am feeling overwhelmed.” Next, share what you need in that moment, again using an “I” statement. “I need to relax, could we spend time together this weekend doing something fun?” Asking for what you need may include asking for time to yourself.
If you are asking your partner(s) about their increased stress levels, utilize Gottman’s tips for being a Great Listener by shifting your focus to your partner(s) and be genuinely interested in what they are saying. Next, show attunement by reflecting back what you hear, asking questions and being non-judgmental when listening to the answers. Try to not give advice, instead focus on understanding and showing empathy.
To learn more about empathy and how it differs from sympathy, watch this video.
Seek counseling or couples therapy: Depending on the stressors impacting your life and your relationships, it may help to talk to someone individually or as partnership. Together, you can learn how to support each other when stressed, how to communicate, how to increase intimacy, and other concerns that may arise when experiencing increased psychological distress.
Educate yourself: As the stigma of mental health continues to decrease, learning about symptoms of mental illness and healthy coping strategies can increase your ability to notice the early signs of psychological distress leading to early intervention and possible prevention from symptoms worsening. Click on the links below to learn more about warning signs, symptoms, and ways to cope with stress.
https://www.nami.org/About-Mental-Illness/Warning-Signs-and-Symptoms
https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/warning-signs-of-mental-illness
https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/suicide/copingwith-stresstips.html