By now, you and your partner have probably spent more time together than you are used to. For some, this may be a good thing, a time to get to know each other better whether you are planning your future, spending the evening cooking dinner together, or watching your favorite Netflix shows throughout the weekend. For others, it may have presented challenges in the way you remain connected as you find yourselves in different households, neighborhoods, or states. Perhaps, you are internet savvy and have access to computers, iPhones, or other electronic devices that allow you access to social media. If so, maybe you are spending time bonding over texts, video chats, and phone calls. But what do you when, when being together 24/7 is putting strain on the relationship?
First and foremost, remember to treat each other with kindness. This “new” normal is temporary. Perhaps, rather than direct the stress of adjusting to this situation towards each other, you can redirect it towards what you think about the virus. If you are forced to work from home or attend school online with only one room with internet access, set up a schedule that allows equal access and commit to giving the schedule a try. If it doesn’t work out, readjust. For those who have added duties of caring for parents, children, or extended family members, find a way to help one another through – this might be as simple as asking or offering what you can realistically do and then following through.
Realize, too, that everyone has different ways of coping – so while one partner may want to talk at length about all that is going on, the other may need to simply take it one day at a time. Respect each other’s differences and allow each other their space to cope as they see fit. Whatever long standing arguments and daily pet peeves that exist, need to be tabled at this time, while both partners remain focused on keeping each other safe and healthy. However, if your issues are such that it seems unbearable, you may consider utilizing telehealth relationship counseling.
And, don’t forget to have fun. Go for a walk, dance, sit outside in the sun and fresh air. Sit out on the patio at night and look at the stars. Take this opportunity to get caught up on one another's life. You can use the Gottman Card decks to get the conversation started, if you like.
While it may feel as though the world is falling apart, know that it isn’t. This too shall pass. In the meantime, keep focused on maintaining your mental, emotional and physical health.