What do you do when you are caught up in a monumental crisis, but you find that the wheels of life have not stopped turning, due dates and deadlines are not frozen in time, and the demand or expectation is that you show up no matter what? The saying “sink or swim” presumably comes from throwing people into the deep end of the pool where they are expected to either sink or learn to swim by pure instinct. Interestingly, the natural human response is to panic, as fight or flight kicks in, cognitive function shuts down, and primal instincts take over. "Sink or swim," these are words thrown around in feeble attempts at gaining some sense of control or meaning. But, what do we do when the illusive control becomes the problem? Taking a cue from the Navy Basic Underwater Demolition/Seals' training (BUD/S), cadets are expected to perform, execute, and make split-second decisions under pressure. Beyond the grueling physical training, they are taught psychological skills necessary for their survival. By harnessing the brain’s capacity to learn and change, they can reassess threat perception, respond appropriately, stay afloat, and eventually thrive! Some of these skills include:
- Mindful deep breathing – the goal is to engage the parasympathetic nervous system, which induces relaxation. This helps manage the fight-flight-freeze stress response and increases the chances that we are optimally primed to make better decisions.
- Coping statements and positive self-talk – reevaluating thoughts, the mental stories that we tell ourselves, especially regarding the situation and our self-efficacy or ability to cope.
- Using mental imageries to visualize positive outcomes – coping images through mental rehearsal not only helps to instill hope but also increases self-efficacy.
- Streamlining goals into micro goals – Having a vision for where you see yourself five years down the road is great. However, in a crisis when survival mode kicks in, breaking down our goals into short-term micro goals can make them more manageable and less overwhelming. There is a reason why 12-step programs emphasize “one day at a time!” Identify what you can accomplish today, the next hour, the next few minutes…and focus on that.
Ultimately, a much needed resource for thriving in a crisis is psychological flexibility. Simply put, this is the ability to connect with the present moment fully as a conscious human being, and to change or persist in behavior that is congruent with our identified values. At its core is the understanding that pain and suffering are universal human experiences that we instinctually shy away from. Unfortunately, this experiential avoidance tends to lead us down the rabbit hole of trying to control, minimize, or get rid of unwanted thoughts, feelings, sensations, or memories. Psychological flexibility refers to being open and accepting of these thoughts and feelings; a willingness to experience the discomfort if it means living a life of vitality and meaning, positively defined by our values – the who’s and what’s that matter most.
Why does any of this matter in a crisis? With psychological flexibility and mindful acceptance, we give ourselves permission to let go of the things that are outside of our control, and we open up ourselves to refocusing all that energy into the things we really care about and what our lives stand for. This means that when we find ourselves in that deep end of the pool, it is important to know what we are swimming toward. Also, in a crisis, sink or swim may not be our only options. Swimming lessons are not a bad idea, but in a scenario where you find yourself unable to swim and sinking is not an option, take a deep breath, practice some self-compassion, float like a champ, and own it!